I’M A BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHER AND I DON’T NEED YOU TO LOVE YOUR BODY.
by Nashville Boudoir Photographer Caley King Newberry
As boudoir photography has grown in popularity, I feel the message around it has become diluted — boosting confidence, falling in love with your body, reclaiming your sensuality. And while I’d love for every client to walk away feeling more confident, boudoir photography is about so much more than that. And loving yourself? That’s about so much more than loving your body.
Confidence Isn’t About Loving Every Inch of Yourself
Here’s the thing — loving your body doesn’t mean loving every little thing about it. In fact, I’d argue that it’s better if you don’t. Why? Because your body is always changing—thanks to time, stress, and, let’s not forget, gravity. If you work hard to love your thighs just as they are, and then they change (which they will), what happens then? The work that you’ve done to love them as they were goes out the window, and you’re starting all over again. That’s an exhausting process and not a requirement simply for the luxury of getting older.
So what do we want instead?
You Can Feel Proud Without Perfection
“And loving yourself doesn’t mean loving every feature along the way—it means knowing that your body is part of your life, not the definition of it.”
Instead of striving for love that depends on every detail staying the same, I’d rather you find peace in your own skin. The ultimate form of self-love isn’t obsessing over your body—it’s knowing you are whole and worthy no matter what it looks like. And loving yourself doesn’t mean loving every feature along the way—it means knowing that your body is part of your life, not the definition of it.
You’re a smart person with thighs that do or don’t jiggle when you walk. You’re a creative woman who does or doesn’t have acne on her chin. You’re a strong person who does or doesn’t have an apron belly. You’re a kind and encouraging person who is or isn’t plus sized. You’re a sensual being who does or doesn’t have a chiseled jawline. Loving your body can simply mean accepting that your body carries you through life and allows you to push your kid on the swingset and feel the sand between your toes and carry your groceries in the house all in one trip, obviously. It’s what allows you to experience love, joy, and adventure. You can feel beautiful and powerful without needing to fix, shrink or change a single thing.
Boudoir Is About Celebrating Who You Are—Not Who You Think You Should Be
When you step in front of my camera, I’m not looking for perfection—I’m looking at you. Your strength, your story, your unique beauty. My job isn’t to make you fall in love with every inch of yourself. It’s to show you that confidence isn’t about having whatever version of the “ideal” body you have in your head is. It’s about owning the one you have. And yes, that might mean seeing photos that challenge the beliefs you have about yourself. But instead of trying to "fix" those parts, we can just acknowledge them, appreciate them, and let them be. We can love your whole body without dwelling on its individual parts.
Your body is not the same as it was five years ago, and it won’t be the same five years from now. Not only is that OK, it’s really your only option. Confidence doesn’t come from a flawless reflection in the mirror or stunning boudoir photos that let you see the ‘best’ version of yourself. It comes from peace with who you are.
Self-Acceptance Comes from Action, Not Waiting
So if you’re waiting to fall in love with your body before you book a boudoir session or take that beach trip, you’ve got the order all wrong. Loving your body comes from doing things with it. You didn’t fall in love with your partner in theory. You fell in love with them through your experiences with them. Why would we think our body is any other way? Self-acceptance comes from action. It’s not about waiting for the right body — it’s embracing the life you have and the body you’re in.
You Deserve to Feel Amazing—Right Now
Not when you lose 10 pounds. Not when you finally master winged eyeliner. Not when you figure out what to do with your hands in photos. Right now. Because confidence doesn’t come from waiting for the right body—it comes from embracing the life you have in the body you’re in.
So no, I don’t need you to love your body. I just need you to trust yourself enough to take up space, to be seen, and to know that you are already enough. And if you’re only part of the way there, you can trust me to walk you through the rest. 🖤
Ready to see yourself in a new way by embracing the skin you’re in and celebrating this version of yourself? Click here.
